Movie Review: The Break-Up

I finally got a hold of some DVDs and I just finished watching my first movie here The Break-Up with Jennifer Anniston and Vince Vaughan and boy did that strike a chord with me. Most people I've talked to about it did not enjoy it that much or said that it was a rough movie for couples to watch. Well what do you expect? Do you want it real or do you want it sugar coated? Ill say this, when they were arguing it was like they took a snapshot of me 6 years ago. That is how relationships are, easy to dissect on the outside but tough and hard at times to live through...man i relate like crazy to his character cuz I have been uncompromising, stubborn, and bullish. I never play video games and I am not a turd but I definitely do things my way. Whenever I used to get into a fight with girlfriends I would apply my quickness and argue my way out of it and I would verbally steamroll them because I could. But the problem with steamrolling a girl is that she will just bury the emotion and weeks later it will come out in some way and then i will be confused as hell because my girl starts freaking out over something that is mundane (but really she was mad at how the original argument played out). Now ladies, this is what makes us think you are crazy because when you blow up over something that has been bothering you for weeks it is a complete surprise to us. We think that conversation is dead.

If you truly want to get through something with women you have to figure out what is hurting them and most of the time they dont use words to tell you. (Read; we dont speak the non-verbal language well and don't be surprised when we don't pick up on things quickly). It can be confusing as hell for us but it doesnt matter, if you want the riches of being with a woman then you have to work with them and be there for them. Cuz let's face it, we aint perfect. In defense of Aniston's character, and any girl I am referring to, they were frustrated with what felt like complete lack of reciprocated effort. That is a valid frustration and even though I have dated great sane-ish women, they reach their breaking point without us really seeing it approach that level. *Dangerous: Sweeping generalization up ahead* What typically is the case is that women work to improve a relationship (like an architect they envision what something could be and want to get there together) and men check in from time to time (think of how we barbeque; if it was cooking fine the last time we checked, why mess with it). I thought The Break Up touched on both sides. I imagine if you saw it in the theater it would be a big conversation afterwards with your date.

In real life it was frustrating cuz I made the mistake of approaching arguments with girlfriends the same way Vaughan did which is how I approach disputes everywhere else in my life. And Vaughan's strength, as often is mine, is that he could out talk his opposition in an argument. Logic tells me this should work with girlfriends. But logic isn't always invited into love. And life taught me that women are great reminders that there is always more to it.

Your girlfriend can not be your opposition; even when she is crazy to you you got to understand she adores you. This movie is dope because it shows that problem being a talker (even though it worked wonders for me in many parts of my life) is that you can't hear anything when you are the one making noise....and a man aint gonna win by trying to force his girl down....when she is upset dont tell her she is wrong, realize she wants you to help her through it even though it looks like she is acting crazy and unreasonable the whole time.

And the ladies can stand to learn that despite what you think is ample evidence that you are trying hard to make things better, he likely has no idea. I know I know, he is being an insensitive jerk and it seems like he doesnt care at all. That he has no idea may sound crazy to you but for you, men are great reminders there is always more to it. We are not masters of the implicit. Our whole lives we are encouraged to NOT master the implicit, in fact. So if you want something, speak our language which is to say it explicitly. Bitching to your girlfriends isnt gonna help. If we still won't work with you after that, then break-up. Otherwise, just say you want 12 lemons and baby will get what she wants in the first place.